Sunday, May 28, 2006
Hey guys.. long time no see.. updating all of you on what has happen to me..
Hey guys...
it's been a long time since i had seen anyone from our famous 6.4.. yeah.. Been keeping contact with some of you guys only.. Darling Celine, Kelvin.. who so far are the only ones who know the most.. Chris, Clarence are the others.. I bet some of you guys know about it too as these darling people would have said some thing.. Yeah.. All of us are still human right.. Wow.. did not know that we had a class blog.. very interesting.. but people ah.. abit plain.. Must then came as a surprise to see that i'm writing.. hehe.. Well...Most of you know that my cca is Judo.. so no surprise there.. but the thing is that i'm attacted.. My guy cames from Judo.. Brown belter.. But really very good..Sweet,kind,wonderful,helpful,loving.. Met alot of new people too.. Friends.. Really good ones.. Most really very nice.. strong leaders some.. One guy helpful but insane.. The ones from Judo are basicaly all older than me ah.. So yeah.. My life went up and down.. Met wonderful people from my class, other class.. Some of you ended up in the same class as me.. But yet even you guys did not see my inner thoughts.. How sad i was.. All that bottled up feelings in me.. the sad ones.. My lonlness.. My problems.. None of you could see it.. But only my guy and one of my best friends.. Both older than me could see.. That small sadness in my eyes.. With that i started to be with them more and more often.. At that time, my guy still did not ask me out.. so we were just friends.. But then my parent who did not really care about me put up a fuss.. Yes i went abit over bored.. invited them over.. had sleep over.. But when i was young.. I did not have a say for my own.. everything they said went.. so now.. I want my life back.. Yes, i'm desperate for freedom.. I want out!! i want to have a say of my own.. People may not think that i'm mature enough but i can survive.. I will survive.. I had been on my own since young so now this would not be a problem.. Once i turn 14 next year i plan to get a job.. working most likely at a fast food outlet but still the pays not that bad.. Turning 16 means most likely office job.. I have my plan set out.. I know what i want.. Sorry.. When out of point.. Yeah.. I know i went over-bored but no one told me.. i thought it was ok.. My parents did not say anything.. not a word.. Then, before all these.. i run away from home once.. Some of you already know about this.. Celine,Su chien,Mabel, Qi tian.. but only one day.. As i did not want my guy and my best friend to get into trouble.. So i went home.. Then all the things i did came.. My parents did not complain to me but to my principle.. My guy and my best friend got into trouble.. My guy most of all.. My parents acted as if they cared.. but they never cared..So yeah.. I did some more things.. Some of my school/class mates might remember in some weeks, a few days i did not attend school.. was not feeling well.. but then i did not attend school for one month.. missing my mid-years exmainations and alot of homework.. Reason. I was in the hospital.. One week for drug over dose.. i took 56 pills.. trying to end my life... but yeah.. reading this post means that it was not a sucess.. I was not feeling well then.. And i took in a few pills.. but then all my bottled up feeling came in.. Without a reason i kept on putting it more and more till i took in 56... Before all these, i told my best friend but at that time she was under house arrest.. so she could not came and stop me.. She call in one og my senoir for Judo to help but it was already too late.. At late evening, i was not getting any better, thus, my friends send me to Tan Teck Seng hospital where i was admitted in.. For one week.. My father was charge with a molest case.. My guy's mom called the police to charge my father.. Who he molested you ask..That person was me.. But then, i did not want to get anyone in trouble and my father was already charge, i mean, is charge for owning alot of money to different banks.. So then the police drop the case.. and i was also admitted in to another hospital which i can't tell you about.. As some of you might know, my guy got kicked out of his house by his parents because of my parents... So he has rented an apartment..And from time to time, my best friend, who is my guy's champion because he trained her and teacher and friend, and i sleep over at times and i spent most of my time in.. His parents kicked him out at a wrong time. Because he had no job at that time.. And now has a bit of a problem.. He is currently looking for a job.. Gotten one but does not pay well and is looking for a few more.. He is looking for a night job.. He has work in Zouk before.. So now, i'm trying to not go back to Thailand this June hoilday.. AS i need to catch up on my work.. And you wanna know what's the most stupidest thing ever? All my teachers and my parents think that i need to take a break.. I mean Came on!! i have already taken a one month break and is lacking in my studies and trainning.. I DON'T NEED A HOILDAY!! I NEED TO STUDY AND TRAIN!! Ah!!! Why can't they understand?? Haix.. Now, i'm trying to set my life back on course.. Hopefully i can.. And also maybe when i turn 16 i'll be able to move out of my place and stay with my guy.. hopefully.. I'm more happier with my guy and friends... But still i'm still confuse on many things.. Ah!! so much more i want to pin down.. but they are quite personal so.. Hopefully my life will go back ocourse.. Hehe.. Mr Soh, was hoping that since you're seeing this, hopefully, maybe seeing my reason you might want to help me with my studies? Yup,yup.. i apologize for taking up so much space.. hehe.. Got to go.. Try to came and write some more.. ok.. See all you soon!!!
Jenjera
SIXFOURohfive;
2:34 AM
